Does that text sound English enough?

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Bobik
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Does that text sound English enough?

Post by Bobik » 22 Apr 2013, 14:30

subj:
The term PVP appeared for convenience. It allows to make distinction between the play of humans against AI (this is called PvE) from the play of humans against other human players. This division of terms became inevitable for the clear division of the play against other players and against surrounding AI mobs. Mostly often this term is used in MMORPGs and computer games.
There are several kinds of PvP systems, depending on rules and abilities. Thus in some games there are unique conditions to play against other real players, i.e. duels or arenas, and the game itself may not contain any other PvP elements. The most good example of such type of games can be Everquest II.
Some MMORPGS have also so-called flag system, according to which the fights between the players may be held in different parts of the game world, except the special areas (cities). In such system the player beginning PVP gets the «flag» (for example, when hitting another player), the color of his nickname changes or a special symbol appears, showing that this player is ready for PvP. If the victim does not respond to such a call, and the player continues to hit and kills him, the player becomes a PK.

So what do you think about it? Asking native English speakers. Grammar, style etc?


Soorn
 
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Does that text sound English enough?

Post by Soorn » 22 Apr 2013, 20:20

Are you asking ..if it sounds like good english?


Lofi
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Does that text sound English enough?

Post by Lofi » 23 Apr 2013, 07:00

English is not my native language. I've done a test - International English Language Test System (academic), and scored 8.5 out of 9. These are my suggestions (mostly grammatical):

subj:
The term PVP appeared for convenience. It allows to make distinction between the play of humans against AI (this is called PvE) from the play of humans against other human players. This division of terms became inevitable for the clear division of the play against other players and against surrounding AI mobs. [strike]Mostly[/strike] Most often this term is used in MMORPGs and computer games.
There are several kinds of PvP systems, depending on rules and abilities. [strike]Thus[/strike] In some games there are unique conditions to play against other real players, i.e. duels or arenas, and the game itself may not contain any other PvP elements. The[strike] most good [/strike] best example of such type of [strike]games[/strike] game [strike]can[/strike] would be Everquest II.
Some MMORPGS have [strike]also so-called[/strike] a flag system, [strike]according to[/strike] in which the fights between the players may be held in different parts of the game world, except the special areas (cities). In such system the player beginning PVP gets the «flag» (for example, when hitting another player), the color of his nickname changes or a special symbol appears, showing that this player is ready for PvP. If the victim does not respond to such a call, and the player continues to hit and kills him, the player becomes a PK.

I would suggest to to write out the abbreviations when first used.
Edit: Forgot to mention - I'd use lower case v in PvP, but I've seen it used in all caps as well and think you could use either. But imo it needs to be one or the other. ;)
Duke Lofi Vemundson, <lots of flashy RP titles>
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Bobik
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Does that text sound English enough?

Post by Bobik » 23 Apr 2013, 08:38

[quote="Soorn van Linden" post=20599]Are you asking ..if it sounds like good english?[/quote]

Yes, that's what i am asking. Thank you for fixing that ;)


Dragon Scales
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Does that text sound English enough?

Post by Dragon Scales » 23 Apr 2013, 12:22

I am a native english speaker (Australian) and Lofi seems to have fixed it up well. There are a few other parts that need editing to make it less confusing, but I'll improve upon it to the best of my ability.

The term PvP(Player versus Player) appears for convenience. It allows us to make the distinction between humans versus AI (this is termed PvE) from humans versus other humans. (This next sentence seems to have unnecessary information, consider removing) This division of terms became inevitable due to the necessity for a clear division of terms between players competing against either AI or other humans. This term is most often used in the MMORPG genre of computer games.

There are several types of PvP systems, each with varying rules and abilities. The classic "World PvP" which allows players to verse one another anywhere in game, is not always enabled, thus, in some games there are unique conditions that enable PvP against other players such as; duels, arenas, and battlegrounds. The game itself may not contain any other PvP elements than these. The greatest example of such a game would be Everquest II.

Some MMORPGs also have a flagging system. PvP between players may occur anywhere in the game world, except for special safe areas, such as cities. In such a system when a player initiating PvP becomes «flagged» (for example, when attacking another player), the color of their nickname changes or a special symbol appears, showing that the attacker is ready for PvP. If the victim does not respond to this prompt, the attacker will proceed to kill the victim, causing the attacker to become a PK(Player Killer).

I attempted to stay as close to the original texts message as possible, and to exclude my own preconceived ideas. If you're not happy with how it turned out Bobik, just message me more specifically what it is you are trying to communicate. Also, PvP is how most players prefer spelling it, and I added translations for the Acronyms(PvP, PvE, and PK) for the convenience of those unfamiliar with the terms.


Lofi
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Does that text sound English enough?

Post by Lofi » 23 Apr 2013, 21:13

Very nice write up. I just have one slight concern - in Bobik's original text I think the only flag referenced was in terms of 'being flagged'. In some games you can get flagged for PvP, for PKing, for stealing etc. and if I'm not mistaken there's games you can get flagged as a positive, i.e. for helping people. It might be confusing (unless explaining the difference) to describe actual "capture the flag"-type PvP (i.e. WoW's Warsong Gulch).
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Dragon Scales
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Does that text sound English enough?

Post by Dragon Scales » 25 Apr 2013, 13:25

Ah... flagged. Ok then I shall fix that, tyvm.


Falke88
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Does that text sound English enough?

Post by Falke88 » 06 May 2013, 15:34

I could convert this into good latin language

...hm ?

....nobody?


Okay then go **** urself and stop asking me for help! :angry:

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