If you want to play with just your friend, then get LIF:YO and set up your dedicated server. That way you can invite only who you want to play the game with. MMO means Massive Multiplayer Online and yes, if you play MMO you are going to be on a PvP server.
With your own dedicated server, you just have yours PvE, that way you can build any town you want.
By the way, use the map, that tells you your location at all times. So if you spawn on different parts of the map, you just stay where you are or both of you head into the desired direction.
MMO is made for jerks posing as players. Haven't you figured that out by now with the fact that every MMO game is that way?
If you want to play on a server with other people you don't know, look at the server list and see which ones are PvE.
Life is Feudal: Your Own is the one to play if you only want a few friends.